Venus says when she tried on-line dating, she got sent so many dick picks, it was like their frankfurters would stretch from sea to shining sea—several times.

Each relished a woman with an appetite for dirt bike hotdogs

and truly wished to be the one

every one

would be

in love

with.

She felt their vulnerability but regarded their casual exhibition as impersonal

and wondered, so just what’s in these wieners?

and took a quick look

at this “paste-like and batter-like poultry product”

by forcing bones, with attached edible tissue, through a sive or similar device under high pressure.

And to her surprise

the take-away

was inside

his haiku about how coots sound the same fighting as they do fucking.

Pork

by “advanced meat recovery machinery” separates the edibles from the inedibles without smashing the bone.

and

less than 10 percent water

and Corn syrup,

Salt,

A common meat preservative

antimicrobial, capable of killing

off

harm full

bacteria

Flavorings

stocks (a stockade)

(a want) ad

classifying his search for a bi-valve to tie his ball-gag

while

boiling water with parts of the carcass.

Found in chowder and instant hand warmers.

To help keep meat-based products pink.

He voyeurs back to back

episodes of the Gadget Girls, those money savvy tarts, showcasing

vibrating modern conveniences to fangirls who give good

feedback

Side effects, including dizziness, gastrointestinal issues, headaches and, if consumed in large quantities, kidney stones.

A filler or thickening agent.

Brewers also often use it in beer.

Uncontrollable bouts of laughter.

Resistance to his own measure

and mean streaks…

An increased risk of cancer.

Frequently found in fertilizers.

An increased shelf life…

he doesn’t want to end up like his father, a master of wood

a carpenter. 

Paid by some Hopi or Chinook to erect

a totem pole.

A pure-blood

Irish-Catholic.  Not a drop of American Indian

but at the EXPO

where his father’s booth proudly displayed his polished

life-sized

mahogany Jesus bust

with a detached centerpiece of hands folded in prayer,

a Chief, no less, approached him

and praised him

for being a true visionary. 

They discussed wood grain and how to coax the spirits from the rings. 

His father had additionally provided a small demo of his skill at a wood block where he informatively described his blades and planes and proceeded to whittle a whistle in the shape of a dove and when he lifted his lips to blow through the hollow tail, a sweet perfect note in ‘C’ sang out the beak. 

His father designed and built the alter at their church and donated his oak banisters and handrails to senior centers and nursing homes and taught how to build his benches, picnic tables and bunkbeds to a Boy Scouts of America troop. 

Made his actual living on elaborate personalized coffins

King Tut woulda been so lucky to have been buried in a sarcophagus carved by his father.

and

He didn’t want to be like his mother who was a master glass blower. 

A mistress of the crystal ball.  Literally providing instruments of hocus pocus up and down the west coast. 

Mostly middle-aged women sporting her witch-balls (intended to ward off and or capture dark spirits) in their whimsical tea gardens,

several shingle-hanging psychics paying top dollar for table-top oracles elevated by silver-plated tripods. 

Wand knobs, divination pendulums, and ritual chalices sold like hotcakes. 

However, his mother raked in the most cash for her rearview mirror car ornaments, glass chillums, and elaborate water bongs.

He says he wants to be the cocktails they serve on trains… 

And the Trip Advisor requests a review which will garner points that look like stars and add up to a badge.